Baby AROUND THE CLOCK

FATHER ROLE

Get ready to embrace a rollercoaster ride.

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Introduction:

In the chaotic land of parenthood, a rumour circulates that when a baby is born, so is the father. And let me tell you, it's partially true. The physical transformation is undeniable. Suddenly, you find yourself holding a tiny human like you're balancing a plate of hot wings during a bumpy car ride. It's a mix of awkwardness and newfound expertise that happens as if by magic.

Here's the truth: The father actually goes through a nine-month growth spurt, and this growth happens in the realm of emotional maturity. You see, supporting your partner during pregnancy requires the same level of dedication you'll have for your child.

I believe there's nothing more exhausting and intense for women than generating and carrying a tiny human for nine whole months inside their body. It's like a magical draining potion for the mother and there are moments when even the simplest tasks feel like lifting weights at the World Deadlifting Championships.

It is our duty as a father to step in and provide total help and support. But then, when the baby finally arrives, we’re left thinking, "Wait a minute, this little baby only wants the mother, and I can't exactly breastfeed. Shouldn't I just step back and give them some space?"

It's true, the mother seems to have all the natural instincts and knowledge. They're the ones with the built-in baby milk bar, the masters of baby cleaning, and the experts in the art of swaddling. And let's not forget that they've spent nine months studying and researching what to do. They've been blessed with the sacred wisdom passed down from generation to generation of incredible women. Throughout history, they've been rocking the parenting game like nobody's business!

So where does that leave us fathers in this whirlwind of dirty nappies, night-time cries, feeding fiascos, reflux rodeos, colic chaos, and morning madness? Are we destined to just wait until the baby is a bit older to play and watch football together, like a couple of buddies sharing snacks on the couch?

The real question is, should we even be thinking like that? Perhaps the answer lies within the question itself. Allow me to share some of my own experiences to shed some light on where the heck we fathers fit into this beautiful mess of parenting.

THE REASON TO WRITE THIS POST: Unveiling the Epic Battle of Dad Duties!

So, the other day, I was having a chat with a friend of mine who has a 5-month-old boy. We were exchanging stories and gushing about the joys of parenthood. Amidst the laughter and tales of baby adventures, my friend mentioned something that caught me off guard.

She confessed that she's been doing everything with the baby on her own. By the end of the day, her energy is completely drained, like a deflated balloon after a wild party. And just when she thought she could catch a break at night, her baby decides to become an all-night snack bar, latching onto her boob for dear life!

Curious about her partner's contribution to this parenting extravaganza, I innocently asked if he lends a helping hand. Brace yourselves, because her response was more shocking than finding out you're out of coffee on a Monday morning. He casually dropped the bomb, saying, "I'm the father, not the nanny." Boom! Mind blown!

It got me thinking, though. Are there other moms out there facing the same situation with their partners? Are there armies of dads hiding behind the "father, not the nanny" battle cry? It's like a secret society of dads who believe that fatherhood comes with an invisible cloak of immunity from dirty nappies and round the clock duties. It's a conspiracy, I tell you!

But fear not, dear moms and dads! Let's unite and show the world that being a dad doesn't mean dodging duties like a stealthy ninja. It means stepping up, embracing the mess, and joining forces with our partners in this crazy, beautiful adventure called parenting.

HELPFUL AND INVOLVED FATHER: A Guide to Dadhood!

From the moment my little monkey entered this crazy planet, I embraced the challenges and joys of parenting with open arms—and an impressive juggling act. Nappy bags, bottles, and a baby all at once? Piece of cake! I became a master of multitasking, flipping through the Parenting Olympics rulebook like a pro.

Raising my daughter isn't just about me showcasing my abilities. It is a tag team effort, a choreography of teamwork and dedication. I became the ultimate champion of nappy-changing, transforming it into an art form that would make Michelangelo jealous. And in the kitchen, I put on my chef's hat and whipped up culinary creations fit for a five-star restaurant—okay, maybe not five stars, but at least my little one never complained!

There's more, my friends. I immersed myself in the hurricane of childhood adventures, becoming the architect of imagination and the enthusiastic participant in my daughter's wildest games. I play music on any instrument I can find (even a saucepan, why not?), try to transport her to magical lands where unicorns and talking broccoli roam free, and my voice becomes the soundtrack to her wildest dreams.

That’s not all! This dad is also a master educator. When my daughter is off child care and spending the day with me (my favourite days!), I unleash my wisdom as fun lessons. ABCs through silly songs? Check! Maths problems turned into engaging puzzles? Double check! I transform learning into a thrilling adventure, igniting her curiosity and nurturing a love for knowledge.

Yeah, and there’s the ever-elusive concept of time! Those two little words, "Time Flies," are both annoyingly accurate and profoundly powerful. We've heard them since we were babies, and now we use them like pros. So embrace the wild ride of fatherhood, fellow dads and dad-to-be, because being a helpful and involved father isn't just a duty—it's a PRIVILEGE. A lifelong comedy show filled with love and laughter.

CREATING A BOND... ONE Dad Joke at a Time!

The journey of parenting is like a rollercoaster ride on steroids! While my daughter isn't quite there yet, I can already envision the teenage years looming ahead, ready to hit us like a hormone-fuelled tornado. They say kids grow up too fast, but do they have to grow up and start having existential crises? I mean, who signed up for this?!

Now, I might not fully understand the complexities of being a teenage girl (and I'll gladly accept corrections), but I've seen enough movies, TV shows and studied a lot in school to know that hormones can turn a seemingly innocent conversation into a battle royale. Brace yourselves, lads!

But fear not, Every day brings a new opportunity to forge a bond with our offspring—a bond stronger than super glue on a hot summer day. My mission? To become the human version of a "trust magnet" for my daughter, so she'll feel comfortable opening up when the time comes, even if it involves sharing her most embarrassing moments or deep, dark thoughts about life, the universe, and everything in between.

Picture this: I'll be armed with a utility belt full of dad jokes, ready to unleash a storm at a moment's notice. They'll be so groan-worthy, they'll momentarily distract her from the existential chaos within. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" Boom! Crisis averted... temporarily.

And let's not forget about the power of bonding through shared experiences. We'll face challenges together, like deciphering the cryptic language of emojis or attempting to cook a gourmet meal using only a toaster and a can of spray cheese. Nothing says "I'm here for you" like making a fool of yourself in the name of family bonding!

But seriously, amidst all the laughs and silliness, I'll be there as a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a provider of useful and meaningful advice. I'll reassure her that it's okay to question life and that nobody really has it all figured out. Except maybe Netflix, they seem to have it down.

HOW OUR ATTITUDES AFFECT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CHILDREN: The Monkey Business of Parenting!

We have a mission to leave a positive mark on everything we do. Children are like sponges soaking up everything around them faster than a kid at an all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet. And don't let their distracted and distant bearing fool you—they're paying attention to every single thing we say and do. It's like having a mini spy in the house, collecting data on our every move!

Remember the saying, "Monkey see, monkey do"? Well, it holds truer than ever. These adorable little monkeys emulate us all the time. Just imagine them as blank canvases, ready to be spray-painted with our quirks and behaviours. So, if we're short-tempered, not well-mannered, or prone to angry outbursts, they might end up thinking that's the correct way to behave. That’s a recipe for a potential disaster!

Now, let's get real for a moment. Nobody—absolutely nobody—is perfect all the time. I mean, I'm far from perfect myself. But hey, I'm here to learn, to exchange knowledge, and to make my fair share of parenting blunders along the way. I wish I could be the epitome of parental excellence every single day of my life, but let's face it, life happens. However, here's the secret sauce: persistently strive for a good and positive attitude, and try to be consistent in your beliefs. That's the trick!

By channelling our inner Zen masters (even when all we want is to fuc**** scream our lungs out and smash a wall), we can guide our children to find their own paths in life. We want them to be comfortable being who they are—quirks, goofiness, and all. After all, the world needs more people who can embrace their own unique weirdness, right?

My fellow desperate dads, let’s put on our best attitudes and perform a show that will leave our kids in awe. It's a high-wire act of modelling positivity, kindness, and understanding, even when we're knee-deep in the messiest situations. Let's remember that our little ones are watching, learning, and sometimes even imitating our dance moves (however embarrassing they may be).

And hey, on those days when we stumble and fall, when our attitudes aren't as sparkling as a disco ball, let's give ourselves a break. We're all human, and parenting is like trying to ride a unicycle while juggling flaming torches!

MY PERSONAL APPROACH TO FATHERHOOD: Unleashing the Inner Silly Dad!

Never in my wildest dreams did I doubt my parenting skills. I knew deep in my heart that I'd be an active and helpful father—the superhero my kids never knew they needed. Not only did I want to be a good role model, but I was determined to teach them values and principals. No, not the fancy ones in a suit and tie—principles, like "never eat the last cookie without sharing" or "always laugh at your own jokes, even if no one else does".

Being a dad means diving headfirst into the madness, fully embracing the chaos like a fearless circus performer. If life is an orchestra and our children are the musicians, then we, my fellow dads, have to take the stage as the maestro, conducting the symphony of family life. And let me tell you, nothing less is expected from us. No pressure, yeah?

Now, here's the plot twist: I consider myself a reserved and shy guy, especially when it comes to stealing the show and having all eyes on me. Bear with me! When I'm with my daughter, all bets are off. I transform into the silliest and loudest guy in the room. I'll roll on the ground like a pro wrestler, bust out dance moves that would make b-boys proud, and unleash my arsenal of hilarious impressions—though they might be more like questionable impersonations. Why do I do this, you ask? Simple. All I care about is her having a good time and enjoying herself. And hey, if it means embarrassing myself in public, so be it. I’m not paying attention to other people’s thoughts.

Of course, there will come a time when all these antics will be embarrassingly cringe-worthy for both of us. But until then, I'm on a mission to make her laugh until her belly hurts. I'll be the king of silly faces, the master of goofy voices, and the undisputed champion of dad jokes. It's all about creating those magical moments where her laughter fills the air, even if the jokes are as cheesy as Ed Sheeran songs.

Through guidance and unwavering support, my mission as a father is to equip my children with the strength to weather any storm they face as adults. If I can make a difference in their lives, if I can fill their hearts with laughter, lessons, and an unwavering love, then I know I've succeeded. No matter where life takes them, they'll always have their MUM and DAD as their anchor—plus a collection of embarrassing childhood stories to entertain future generations.

I believe in teaching my kids the importance of empathy and kindness, so they can stand up for what's right. I'm just passing on my own story, beliefs, and values, hoping they don't land face-first in a pile of hilarious misadventures like I did. And hey, the secret sauce is to plant those seeds of greatness while they’re young!

Who cares, unleash your inner silly dads and embrace the absurdity of fatherhood. Dance like no one's watching, even if they are, because nothing brings more joy than seeing our kids smile. And who knows, maybe one day our kids will repay us by making us the stars of their own embarrassing dad stories.

CONCLUSION: A Farewell to the Parental Battlefield

This is the moment to take a break to pat ourselves on the back for surviving the sleepless nights, the endless home chores, and the constant battle of wills. We can do this! And we do it with love and the sheer willpower to keep our sanity intact (well, most of the time).

I always try to remember to laugh and embrace this madness that whirled through our lives. Sure, our kids test our patience and sanity, but deep down, we know they're the reason our hearts are overflowing with love (and maybe a touch of madness).

When the time comes for our dear children to share their deepest thoughts and feelings, we shall be there, ready to listen, understand, and offer the reassurance they need—along with a few more terrible jokes, just to keep them on their toes. Laughter, my friends, is the secret glue that holds us together, even during the sleepless and endless nights.

Now, let's get serious for just a moment, I promise. When my time on this Earth is up, all I want is to be remembered for the good and positive things I've done with my kids. I want my thoughts, values, and actions to be shared and passed on from generation to generation, like a treasured family heirloom of embarrassing dad stories and cringe-worthy dance moves. It's a legacy, my friends. A legacy of laughter and love.

So, here's to all the fathers out there who strive to be like that, who lend their hands and hearts to shape the lives of their children. Your impact is immeasurable, even if it sometimes feels like you're herding a pack of wild monkeys. And remember, your love is the greatest gift you can give, apart from maybe a lifetime supply of chocolate or a time machine to undo embarrassing moments. Let's rewrite the narrative and prove that the "father, not the nanny" philosophy is as outdated as a VHS tape in a Netflix era.

So raise your dad mugs high and toast to the adventure ahead! May your dad jokes be forever cringeworthy, your hugs be warm and squishy, and your love be as boundless as your kids' energy. Cheers, my fellow fathers, and may the laughter never cease!

dedicated to my gorgeous baby girl, the love of my life.